Category Archives: INFO

Lightbar UK

LAP TITAN 4′ / 1.2M LED LIGHTBAR (CLEAR LENS)

The Titan offers 360° of visual warning and has 4 x ECE R65 Class I approved flash patterns (single, double, triple, quad).

Manfactured exclusively at LAP’s production facility, this truely unique LED lightbar is available with clear or amber lenses as well as hazard, stop/tail/indicator, illuminated centre and alley light optional extras.

This model is 4ft in length and can be customised with optional extras prior to despatch.

To purchase this lightbar or other similar quality products visit www.lightbaruk.co.uk

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Caption Corner 13

A Selection of Readers’ Captions:

Bernard Matthews was over the moon with the new Neighbourhood policing unit in Norfolk. He says it’s “Bootiful, really Bootiful”! – SL

Don’t reckon much to the new Gold Command centre! – PW

The officers that arrived at they new budget station where unimpressed! – DM

The police’s latest attempt to build relations with the travelling community! – JW

Officers weren’t impressed when the new staff arrived, they said it was like working with animals! – MR

Police budget holidays! – IR

Undercover officers infiltrating travellers at Dale Farm awoke to find a subtle message that they should get stuffed! – TC

Bernard Matthews Police where quick to respond to the prison escape, they had even set up a mobile command post! – CC

Police were out in force this Christmas keeping watch over a large number of illegal immigrant turkeys! – TL

Police take action against Turkey riots! – PW

Even police in Istanbul are facing cutbacks…! – CP


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Caption Corner 12

A Selection of Readers’ Captions:

MOD Plod never did get the hang of hide and seek! – BH
The MOD didn’t like the 4x4s that they had so thought they’d trash one! – AO
North Yorks sell ageing 4×4 fleet and spend money on new “Enforcers” for their Tactical Support Units to aid the speed and execution of premises warrants! – SS
Um Sarge… you know that builder we booked last week…! – KM
I told you pitting him wouldn’t work! – JW
Although the sergeant said they’d got a Greyhound as an addition to the MoD Dog Unit, somehow they doubted it would fit in the jeep! – OC
People will see the car so i think we will lose at hide and seek! – KL
Should have gont to specsavers! – MJ
Time Team in the year 2100: look at this ancient vehicle we’ve dug up from the past! – TC
Delta-Alpha-Two-One to Control – We’ve attended that report of an out-of-control ‘greyhound’. I think you can cancel the dog unit! – MP


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Caption Corner 11

A Selection of Readers’ Captions:

Never, ever go anywhere without a Hi-Viz! – JS
Should have gone to Specsavers! – AE
New conservative budget cuts to the NHS meant that Ambulance staff faced cutbacks to the new uniform! – ABC
Brian thought he had definitely got a bum deal! – KM
Least he’ll never be short of somewhere to park his bike! – GC
The cycle response unit are currently trialing a new light weight uniform. The staff aren’t convinced! – JS
BEWARE!! Raised manhole ahead! – CF
New NHS Procedure – To cause incidents not prevent them! – MJ
Looks like a bit of Flower power going under his seat! – MR
After a spate of collisions with motor vehicles, cycle paramedics are now being told to make themselves more noticable to drivers! – MP
First aid kit, check. Helmet, check. Bike, check. Now what have I forgotten?! – SC

 


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Caption Corner 10

 

A Selection of Readers’ Captions:

Let this be a warning to all who prank call the fire service: THEY KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! – JS
The annual emergency services stunt driving competition was a huge success, until one team started cheating with a forklift! – KM
The new cost cutting, space saving, way of parking your car on station! – AB
To make some extra cash, firemen were now doing MOTs on station! – AB
The local Fire crew are paid so little, that they can only afford to replace 2 tyres at a time. The new style of driving assists in cutting down the wear! – BH
That’s one way to retrieve the ‘Chippy Run’ you dropped under the Watch Manager’s car! – PW
After the recession, the cutbacks started with the doughnuts. In sheer desperation the firemen used drastic measures to find some! – CP
Day 1 at the fire appliance driving school wasn’t going well! – MR
Listen guys, I know you’re bored, but you can’t go around CAUSING an RTC! – IB
Government spending cuts mean that the fire service will now be assisting the police with ending vehicle pursuits! – MP
I don’t think she’s grasped parallel parking! – WB

 


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Caption Corner 9

 

A selection of readers’ captions:

New police fitness regime intended to get slimmer riot squads had an unintended consequence! – KM
The new riot officer was a little deflated! – GC 
These goverment cuts have gone to far! – AC
Police hunt for a runaway steamroller! – TC
The budget cuts within police forces have gone too far for some officers, leaving them to walk out of the job a bit under dressed! – MH
Tony Stark falls on hard times when designing the latest Iron Man armour! – KM
A defect in the taser gun causing it to back-fire is discovered! – MH
Darth Vader was having a very bad day… – AI
The new slim fast diet for police officers! – AO
Work got you feeling flat? – JS
The knee bone connects to the thigh bone, the thigh bone connects to the hip bone…! – PW 
New Government cutbacks meant the new robotic riot police were hurried to be completed! – IB


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Caption Corner 8

 

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Exterminate! – MR
Defibrilate! Defibrilate! – ABC
The Darleks were disappointed to find that the Doctor wasn’t attending! – AI
The Darleks invade Britain!… starting at Sainsbury’s in Oxford – NT
Donate, DONATE! – TC
The budget crisis means ambulance staff are being replaced with cheaper alternatives! – TC 

 


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Caption Corner 7

 

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Here ye here ye, I appear to be stuck! E&J
This could turn into a “mayor” of a job! – PW
It’s the Santa & Rescue Service coming to get Santa! – LA
I told you your bell wasn’t on top of that tower! – IB
Council consider fire prevention budget! – LH
Drunken fancy dress party… the morning after! – WP
Told you he wouldn’t believe us when we said we leave him up there! – MB
Didn’t  you get the football down OK? – TR
I now declare this Bronto Skylift open!…. Can I come down now lads? – DM
And the mayor’s rooftop protest is brought to an early end! – SM

 


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Caption Corner 6

 

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Well, yeah this is fast for an ambulance, but the police force in the nearest village have a donkey with LEDs on it, now that can haul ass! – SL
If Shrek was a paramedic…! – WP
The Cow response unit – reaching all calls in under 8 minutes! – DS
Look at the new truck – its a 2 gnu power unit & does 10 miles per bale of hay! – PW
Nice to see the Trust buying state of the art and environmentally friendly this year! -JC
NHS cutbacks really started to take their toll! – KRL
Probably a hundred times more reliable than the Sprinters! – AC
A sign that fuel prices are to high for government! – JB
The ambulance broke down: this our reserve! – AG
Should have gone private! – TS
Is this what they mean by budget reductions?? – AOS


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Caption Corner 5

 

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Well I’m not getting it, Who’s got the least service? – DH
You two, don’t tell me you’ve gone and parked the squad car here!!! – MRP
Ladies First! – GM
The new recruits initiation test took a menacing turn! – KL
No I can’t see Geoff’s hat either…maybe it has sunk by now…? – NS
Right, one more time, we were passing the keys, when……. – M
Hmmmm, shell we go to McDonalds…. or Kentucky….. or the good old greasy spoon? –  SL
To get wedged in there he must have been very thin! – D
Now how do explain to Sarg that the car ended up in here?! – S
Just wait, if goes past the line its the other force’s problem! – CS
A member of the public reported an unusual sight in the local canal. Police are looking into it! – SO
Are you sure this is where the sat nav said the new station was?! – TC

We also go an entry in the form of an image, thanks Tommy!

 


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Caption Corner 4

 

Here are a selection of reader captions:

What’s the name of this creek again? – SB
This photo is a new clip form an upcoming tv show: CSI: Venice – SL
I think I will stick to the Astra lads! – KH
Search for the speeding pirates. If it’s above 10 knots it’s a £60 fine & 3 points on their licence! – ST
Where did you say the Titanic was boss? – AF
Every year they do this boys, illegal drag race down the Thames, get those Oxbridge racers! – AC
And if someone sings “Row row row your boat gently down the stream” once more I am going to taser ’em! – SL
The cutbacks in the river policing budget had hit the division hard! – PW
British riot cops take a lesson from the Vienna police force! – JA
That duck was going a bit fast, Sarge. Shall we tail him? – TL
The Met have decided to take a more ecological approach to policing the Thames! -DC
The new British Border Police! – A

 


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Caption Corner 3

 

Here are a selection of reader captions:

I think we’re a little overdressed! -ST
Er.. sarge, is it still “Indecent Exposure” if they’re all doing it? – DC
I was only joking when I said you could park your bike in it! – AB
At the local police cycle training run, there’s confusion over the dress code! – CP
Ah The Heck With It Sarge, I’m Going Natural! – JW
Mmmmm nice lycra! – AB
Bet there’s gonna be some nasty chaffing going on ere today! – MB
I should have done what my partner did and not looked! ….. When’s the next counseling session? – D
Police use new tactics to scare of yobs! – JA
Due to police cash problems the new recruits uniforms weren’t ready in time! – AW
The police felt rather over-dressed for the occasion! – IB
Modern police service attempts to reassure the public that it has nothing to hide! – MD
Move along now, nothing to see! – W

 


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Caption Corner 2

 

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Spot the dummy! – PM
One of them is still alive! – KH
His attempt to avoid the next shout was soon rumbled… – CM
It’s no use hiding Smith , we can still see your trainers, now WASH the yard!!!! – M
John always said he work with a pile of dummies! – AJB
Stuffed! – RM
As a beat Astra came round the corner, the thief tried to hide with the surroundings! – TL
Auditions for entry to fire service! – AC
Which one is the dummy, they all look the same to me! – S
These sleeping policemen get more and more realistic every day! – JA
When the skip was taken away in caption 1 this is what the ambulance crew were horrified to find! – AF
Officer down! – BC
Ha-ha, I win, I found the odd one out! – BW
What the hell did I have to drink? SL
Police sports & social club – the morning after! – SB
Quick here’s the Inspector, look busy! – M

 


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Caption Corner 1

 

Here are a selection of reader captions:

Due to NHS cut backs, A&E had a smaller holding area – AC
Nice new model, but why hasn’t it got blue lights! – DL
NHS on cutbacks – New mobile mortuary – JA
Ambulance Staff take hide and seek to a new level – DL
I Think The Ambulance Is  A More Hygienic Way Of Carrying The Ill Than That Skip. – JW
I think changing the colour of the Ambulance to Red is a silly idea ! – EL
Who Put That There? How am I supposed to get that out smarty? – CD
I see the the Saturday Night A&E motors has arrived then boss! – SL
Stan couldn’t quite fit his new lunch box in the crew locker….. – AB
4.5years old now, time for a new one! – BW
You can see why they needed to replace it’s older sister. – TL
NHS – What a load of rubbish – SL
A Brand new ambulance is put on show with the oldest of the fleet! – DM
What a lovely match – JL
In an effort to improve efficiency YAS take on new larger capacity red ambulances – PM
I wonder if they have different response times? – SL
The paramedics weren’t really sure what to do. They had never been called out for a “A 47 year old male suffering severe pain due to being crushed by a skip”! – SL
Echo521 we can still see you on station no matter how much you try to hide it! – PJW

 


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